Repping for the Home Game

I spent a few hours online today playing in the Hammer Out Cancer charity tournament on FTP. It was a pretty strong turn out, with about 60 bloggers - and me - playing and raising some money for cancer research.

I won't go into all the details, but I think I did a solid job of representing the Murderer's Row crew, finishing fourth overall. In Hanel-like fashion, I got knocked out when my pocket Queens got cracked by a set of 8s.

Aside from playing with a bunch of blogger loons, the most fun came when people figured out who I am. I guess people really do read Rini and Hanel's blogs.

And Now for Something Completely Different

If there's one thing that most people can get behind it's the fact that food is pretty good stuff. OK, if you're a Hollywood actress, you may disagree, but other than that, most people I know like to eat.

In fact, one of my friends likes food so much that she's started her very own blog about all of the odd things she's eating nowadays. And, living in San Francisco's Inner Richmond, there are lots of odd things available just outside her door.

So, for online food fun with Fawn, check out Possibly Edible.

The 21st Century Sedar

Just a little humor that got passed my way.

The Two-Minute Haggadah
A Passover service for the impatient.
By Michael Rubiner

Opening prayers:

Thanks, God, for creating wine. (Drink wine.)

Thanks for creating produce. (Eat parsley.)

Overview: Once we were slaves in Egypt. Now we're free. That's why we're doing this.

Four questions:

1. What's up with the matzoh?
2. What's the deal with horseradish?
3. What's with the dipping of the herbs?
4. What's this whole slouching at the table business?

Answers:

1. When we left Egypt, we were in a hurry. There was no time for making decent bread.
2. Life was bitter, like horseradish.
3. It's called symbolism.
4. Free people get to slouch.

A funny story: Once, these five rabbis talked all night, then it was morning. (Heat soup now.)

The four kinds of children and how to deal with them:
Wise child—explain Passover.
Simple child—explain Passover slowly.
Silent child—explain Passover loudly.
Wicked child—browbeat in front of the relatives.

Speaking of children: We hid some matzoh. Whoever finds it gets five bucks.

The story of Passover: It's a long time ago. We're slaves in Egypt. Pharaoh is a nightmare. We cry out for help. God brings plagues upon the Egyptians. We escape, bake some matzoh. God parts the Red Sea. We make it through; the Egyptians aren't so lucky. We wander 40 years in the desert, eat manna, get the Torah, wind up in Israel, get a new temple, enjoy several years without being persecuted again. (Let brisket cool now.)

The 10 Plagues: Blood, Frogs, Lice—you name it.

The singing of "Dayenu":

If God had gotten us out of Egypt and not punished our enemies, it would've been enough. If he'd punished our enemies and not parted the Red Sea, if would've been enough.

If he'd parted the Red Sea—(Remove gefilte fish from refrigerator now.)

Eat matzoh. Drink more wine. Slouch.

Thanks again, God, for everything.

SERVE MEAL.

Michael Rubiner writes for movies and television. His work has appeared in many publications, including The New Yorker, the New York Times, and Rolling Stone.

A Small Sunday Post

I know, I haven't written anything in the past week, but truth be told, I don't really have much worth writing about right now. Actually, that's not completely true, but I can't comfortably write about the things that have been on my mind as of late, so I'll leave you with a few little pieces of information.

In case you've missed it, here's a link to CardPlayer's coverage of the new gambling bill that Hanel put up at his new home. If you've ever played online poker, it's worth reading. When you're done, make sure you visit the Poker Player's Alliance.

As for my game, it's been going reasonably well. I made good money in playing live last week, and despite a tough run on the world's fastest growing online site, I recouped a good deal of my losses playing on my old standby site, UB. I even placed seventh in a small tourney last night, which was a nice accomplishment. The little bit of money it added to my bankroll didn't hurt either.